Putting myself to the test

Today has been a rough one.  Found out that another one of my strongest supporters at school is leaving for a new job… many changes - lots of unknowns.  I am feeling disheartened.  I am trying to keep myself from spiraling downward.  This is not as easy as I thought it would be.  Trying to change the way you think is difficult.  All day my mind wants to pull me down into the hole, but for the first time in a long time I am fighting!  I am looking for all the positives, trying not to catastrophize and really trying to untwist my thinking.  My kids are happy at school.  I still have several friends who I work with and I am not in the emotional place I was for most of this school year.  Maybe some of these changes will end up making my friends much happier in the long run and it is not always all about me - I need to remember that.  I need to stay in this moment.  I have a contract for next year and I don’t need to worry about finding a job or where my kids will go to school.  I only have a day and a half left with students.  Parents, staff and students have really reached out to me and been so supportive the past week and a half.  I need to focus on these parts of my day.  For the first time in a few weeks I see just how far I still have to go - and might need to lean on my support more than I expected.  For the moment, going to listen to some upbeat music, finish report card grades and get ready to celebrate graduation at my school (as photographer and former teacher of this 8th grade class).  Getting up the courage to open lines of communication with my administration and reframing the situation to make a more positive outlook are my plans of attack… now to just put them into action!