It's Not All Laughter Yoga and Hugging Teddy Bears

By this time, you can hopefully tell I am throwing everything I have at my illness and trying to find a solution.  But I was still not willing to take time off from work, or take too much time out of my life as a mom to fight this disease.  I was doing an hour a week with Dr. K.  She was instrumental in giving me different ideas and techniques she thought might work for me.  As I am learning about what used to be called “Eclectic Therapy” and is now known as “Integrative Therapy” (same idea in my mind), that different things work for different people.  Just like my grandmother says “that’s why they make both chocolate and vanilla ice cream.”  And the only way to find out if a technique would work was to try it!  I am and always have been a bit skeptical and cynical. Athough I was desperate and willing, I don’t think I (ok, i totally and completely know that i didn’t) ever fully embrace any the following, but will describe a select few of my experiences anyways.  If you are feeling depressed maybe this will give you encouragement to try one of them, or perhaps you will be laughing so hard that you won’t need to.

Vision Board:

This one started off pretty innocently.  Dr. K told me that many people enjoy making a visual reference/poster board to show them how they want their life to be.  I thought immediately of my middle school collages.  Spending hours on the room of my floor cutting and pasting photos of Patrick Swayze, camp stuff and rainbows to hang in my locker or send snail mail to my friends from summer camp.  This seemed like a perfect idea to me, but I had to commit the time to create my vision board.  That didn’t seem to be happening… until a friend posted on Facebook that she was going to host a vision board party.  A close friend signed up to go, and I jumped on board.  I raided all my art supplies and came prepared with scissors, glue, magazines, print outs from Pinterest, stamps, markers... you name it.  I was not prepared for the sales pitch and motivational meeting about a weight loss/lifestyle product that was the underlying reason for this “party.”  My friend and I were the only two there that were not interested in the product and just giggled and hunkered down to create our vision boards while everyone else was pumping each other up about sales and successes of their product.  It felt a little like a cult meeting, but at least I went home with my vision board and a great car ride full of laughter with my friend.  It still sits on my dresser and I do look at it from time to time, so I think this was a helpful technique.  My secret “Quotes that Help” Pinterest board on the other hand I continue to pin on the computer and look at when I need to.  (In the interest of full disclosure, I also have a dark “Bad Places” Pinterest board that I pinned to when I was wallowing in my deepest, darkest moments… probably the polar opposite of a vision board).

A detail of my vision board

Hugging Teddy Bears:

Learning about the concept of my inner-child and the fact that she has not fully matured was very interesting to me. I carry now a photo of me from when I was in pre-school (looking cute, with pigtails, and coloring with crayons).  I only look at it when I am looking for cash and then think “oh I was so cute and I wish I had bills in my wallet rather than this picture;” I don’t think that was what Dr. K was intending when she suggested I keep it with me.  We discussed my childhood and I have some difficult memories.  Dr. K handed me a teddy bear, a large one, (wearing a peach dress that looked like it was from my early 1980s childhood) and encouraged me to hug it as I would my inner child.  I did - for about 30 seconds… about 28 seconds longer than I felt comfortable.  That would be my one and only hugging teddy bear therapy experiences… I am much happier getting a hug from my therapist - or any of my support group of family and friends!  But if it works for you - I say “go for it!”

Laughing Yoga:

Once I hugged a teddy bear I was all in!  So Laughing Yoga was only a matter of time.  I found a group that meets once a month at a fitness studio in midtown - about 30 minutes away from my house.  I got up the courage to go and then decided there was absolutely no way in hell I was going alone.  I contacted 7 friends and implored someone to go with me.  A wonderful colleague and friend cancelled her plans for that night so I wouldn’t have to go alone.  She drove to my house and then I took us to a night that was so bizarre that we decided to tell anyone who asked that “what happens in laughing yoga stays in laughing yoga.”  But for you, I will divulge some of the insanity.  I did proclaim that night to her, that I felt we were only one step away from the looney bin.  (I have since realized that it is actually a little further removed).  We pulled into a dark parking lot, found the entrance to the gym, walked down a long hallway into a room with floor mats and a few chairs that looked like they could be for observers.  We had to take off our shoes and sign in and fill out a medical liability release form… yes... you read that correctly. We decided to risk it and join a motley crew of 10 or so people on the mats for an hour of laughter and yes - yoga.  The people there were in 2 different groups which may have overlapped - those that were very granola, crunchy and in touch with themselves, and those of us who had therapists that recommended we try it.  We did some warm ups, made eye contact with other members of the group and practiced laughing.  It was like nothing I’ve ever done before - or probably will do again. We pretended to be lawn sprinklers, lawn mowers, and growing flowers - I can’t make this stuff up.  At the end of each exercise we had 2 different things we repeated - alternating them.  I really thought I’d remember them, but it seems that I have blocked that part of the night out. I will say I laughed - a lot.  Every time I made eye contact with my friend we cracked up.  I don’t think that was the intent of the night - but any way I can get to laughter works for me.  I try to never say never - but I think it’s highly unlikely you will run into me at another laughter yoga session.

Mirror Work:

I watched a video of a man teaching me how to do self-talk, looking in a mirror to tell myself I am loved.  I am strong. And lots of other positive affirmations.  All I can say is I watched too much Saturday Night Live 1990’s episodes with skits of Daily Affirmations with Stuart Smalley to ever be able to take this mode of therapy seriously.  I did attempt it for several days…. in my makeup mirror, my bathroom mirror, the mirror hanging on the wall of my office, and even my rearview mirror (not while driving… could you imagine my explaining that to a police officer?).  Each time I made it about 15 seconds before feeling so ridiculous I had to abandon the practice.  My fear of being committed if anyone walked in on my while I was doing this also played into my discomfort.  I know now that self-talk is important to rewiring my brain and thoughts, but I will continue to do that internally - with no mirror in sight!