My own personal marathon - don’t get excited my running friends

In case you were wondering, forward progress is emotionally, physically and mentally exhausting.  This week I think I hit on almost every feeling on the “feeling wheel” I have been referring to since beginning therapy.  My ups and downs have been ridiculous.  Learning new skills and actually applying them has left me drained.  But I think I can finally relate to my friends who train for and actually run marathons.  It is hard work.  You have to really train and exercise muscles you may have not been using.  You have to push through the pain and sometimes you need encouragement from those around you on days you don’t think you can do it.

I know that I have not finished my marathon.  I know that I will feel amazingly wonderful and accomplished when I do; this week I have just “run” farther than I ever have before.  I pushed myself into uncomfortable and new situations.  I tried new skills and let people see my authentic self. I rubbed myself raw, and unfortunately there is nothing to prevent that kind of emotional chafing.  I’ll just have to let it heal.  I am finally at the point where I actually think that I can get to the finish line.  For now I am going to collapse… and relax and know that I will get back out there and continue my training.  

My only (ok - maybe not only) wish is that I could find an excuse to load up on carbs for my marathon!