Easier said than done

Tomorrow will be two weeks since my exit from Skyland Trail.  I listened, learned and prepared to dip my toe in the water before jumping off the high dive into the deep end (after many people convinced me that the best way to re-enter life after treatment).  Little did I know (although to be honest, I kinda suspected) that I would end up taking a sink or swim approach to going back to work.

I am luckily swimming, and by swimming I mean fully integrating back into my old life, but know that I am going to have to get out of the water and take a break during adult swim.  I remember hating having to get out of the water, but now it sounds so lovely.  Twelve days from now, when the school play that I am working on is complete, I am planning to take it easy, at least for a few hours.  Scheduling in downtime, asking others to help and learning that “good enough” is okay for many areas of my life are probably the most important points I need to embrace in my self-care.  Today I did all three of these things; and I am happy to report that after the guilt subsided I actually felt good about my actions.  

Students helping paint the set! 

I know I wrote about my personal “Appalachian Hike” and told everyone how I planned to pace myself… but I think I thought I saw a bear and started sprinting (insert laugh here everyone who knows me).  Luckily I have people around me to help slow me down and guide me back onto the path.  I just have to keep reminding myself of the goal which is to enjoy my life and stay in the moment.  I am going to find the next rest stop, one with an incredible view, and sit and take it in.  I just have to remember to stop when I get there and not check my itinerary to see when and where I have to go.  

Never did I think that “stopping and smelling the roses” would be so difficult.  Taking the time to use the skills I learned in treatment and apply them to continue my recovery is definitely easier said than done.  That being said… I am going to keep putting one foot in front of the other.  More soon… I’m off to bed!