A new kind of/sort of normal: another optimistic update

In the middle of theater tech and show week I am starting to recognize when I need to take care of myself.  From delegating or just saying “no” when I am hitting my limit to taking time for self care and addressing problems with people that I would have internalized in the past, I am starting to actually change my ways.  

My current view...

I am writing this while sitting on the couch, watching CBS Sunday Morning (on Saturday afternoon).  In my dream world I would be outside and I am resigned to the fact that my 11 year old’s allergies keep us inside on beautiful spring-like days.  She and I are home after spending the morning/afternoon out celebrating our newly nine year old’s birthday at an arcade.  Between my social anxiety and exhaustion over the past few weeks, I sent Dan and little one out with her grandparents to shop for a birthday gift.  Big one is showering and I am enjoying a few rare moments to myself.  

I know that reserving some energy today is essential to survival tomorrow.  Our school play, of which I am the Show Coordinator (My counselor correctly presumed that this title means that I do whatever needs to be done) is giving two final performances tomorrow.  We have to be at school at 9.  In case anyone has looked at the calendar, Daylight Savings is late tonight!  UGHHHHHHH!  

In my new style, I am working on not running myself ragged.  It is new and different and I find myself proud whenever I catch myself before I hit the total exhaustion point.  My hope is that after tomorrow’s shows, I will get a chance to see what life after a depressive episode can really look like.  In my dreams it means I will get more sleep, have more energy and time for me.  Being able to be there for my children, Dan, my friends, family, colleagues, students and others in my life is also a big hope!  I think I am partway there!