Blog - yes; Facebook - no; huh?

Here it is I am documenting, informing, hopefully making some sense of what is going on in my head and in my recovery and now I am considering a time out from social media?!?!?  Part of me feels like I am wanting to throw my stuff out there, but not intake anything that belongs to anyone else… that is not quite the truth, but might be a small part of it.  I have never been a very decisive person (anyone that has gone out to eat with me can tell you that) and I am still waffling with this decision.  I am finding that the posts and pages that I am finding to be the most helpful to me are the ones that make me feel not so all alone; the ones that offer me some insight into this struggle I am having in my head.  I have been researching, reading, listening to TED talks, reading articles ad nauseum.  I keep thinking that I can race my way through this process, or at least have an intellectual grasp on it.  But I know that there is no right or wrong, only a whole lot of information coming at me… mainly positive, but definitely overwhelming.  

I love all my inspirational pages that every day, sometimes several times a day, post beautiful photos accompanied with uplifting words and quotes.  I will miss those, but figure I will still be wasting/spending time on Pinterest and with the right keywords and following the right “Pinners” I’ll be able to keep seeing those enriching memes.

The support I have received from friends and family near and far has been incredible.  And there, above, are (what I consider) the pros for staying active on my account.

As for the cons, even when you feel like isolating, it still hurts to see friends out and about having fun, partying, getting together, celebrating how wonderful life is for them at the moment.  I want to be there and to be perfectly honest I am envious.  But when I am invited… I don’t want to go… would rather sit at home on the couch.  It makes no sense, but most of what goes on in your head when fighting/coping with/recovering from an episode of depression doesn’t seem to.   

I also have become one of those people (ok, maybe I’ve always been) who posts or says something and is looking for feedback/validation.  And if I put something out there and no one reacts, I immediately (yes immediately) question why I put it out there.  There can be the thought that my blog may have the same non-responses, but at least I find writing these cathartic.  So there!

So if you want to keep seeing these posts, you may want to subscribe to my blog… if not, no worries… I’ll see you around… hopefully when I am back and better than ever!