Wait... I'm supposed to actually use the skills I learned?

Today, with the assistance of my therapist, I realized that I have a severe case of performance anxiety.  In the moment, I just can’t perform. At least not yet. Everything I have learned over the past few years seems to slip just out of reach when the going gets tough. My memory fails me and I try to think of what to do to make the situation better or at least more tolerable. And so far, that hasn’t worked so well.

Capturing a wonderful moment with family while on vacation
(in hindsight, I was actually using a skill or two)

So I am putting in writing, in a public place, the challenge to both myself and anyone else in a similar position, to do what the professionals tell us will work. Practice. Practice. Practice. Everyday. On good days, bad days and every day in between.

This means I will have to practice what I preach in my own profession. I inform students who complain about their drawing skills that they can’t improve without practice. Lots of it. I often equate the practice needed to that of a professional athlete. And most of the time they groan and eventually decide that they don’t care all that much about becoming a better illustrator/draftsman/artist/whatever. Many find that the effort and time investment necessary to enhance their artistic abilities isn’t worth it.   

I don’t have the luxury to decide not to practice and get better. Even on days I am not sure that I am worth the investment. Despite how exhausted, busy or stressed I am, I have to start using skills and working towards bettering my ability to recover from stumbles. Then, and only then, will I hopefully become able to pull tools from my arsenal when I need them. In regard to mental health I do think that I can compare the practice needed to going to the gun range as a police officer or security guard. It really is more of a matter of life or death (even if it’s only the quality of life at stake).

I am going to review my DBT skills this week and start planning how I 

will insert different skills practice into my daily life. Journaling or 

blogging is one of my favorite skills (which I haven’t done in a week or 

two), so I can officially give myself a check mark for today!