I am woman hear me roar…

I am woman hear me roar… or more accurately hear me quietly read from a piece of paper with tears running down my face. And I couldn’t be prouder of myself. I came upon a situation this past week that had it happened even a year ago I would have bottled up my feelings, ruminated on the situation, internalized, questioned and basically driven myself crazy. Instead I took everything I have learned, and after calming myself down, and deleting the first seven drafts I e-mailed to set up an appointment with someone who was in a position to help me. That evening, I typed up what I wanted to say, since I know that I get flustered in the moment and my thoughts often don’t come out coherently.

After an anxiety-filled night anticipating going in to advocate for myself and express my discomfort, I did it. I went in. Alone. And I spoke openly and was vulnerable. And it was better than expected. The person who I spoke to was kind and listened. They asked questions. I answered. We are going to have an ongoing conversation to help me be successful. I felt supported and rekindled my excitement about the coming year. Year 18 of teaching art is starting on Monday and I am ready (well almost - I do have until Monday)!

I would have set off fireworks to celebrate my bravery (of course I'd be afraid to),
so a photo of July 4th fireworks will have to do!

What I did yesterday would be small or insignificant by so many people’s standards; however, I am proud that I can shout from the rooftops (or type this while sitting on my laptop on the couch) that I did something that was extremely difficult for me. And I am learning that it does make life easier. Being open and starting uncomfortable discussions may not always turn out as positively as yesterday, and I now know that I have to at least try. Breathing a little easier and standing a little bit taller tonight!