I’ve made it through 3 consecutive days of work and need a vacation

Oh my goodness!!! I know I had been told, by so many people, to slowly ease my way back into my life outside of treatment.  Staff, my new therapist K, other people in recovery, and countless friends and relatives all reiterated this fact.  And I listened… for about a day and a half.  A great day and a half it was.  I was welcomed back to school with the most wonderful hugs from colleagues, parents, students and parents.  A note from my daughter in my lunch box and a beautiful necklace that a group of friends chipped in and gave me along with the sweetest card, and so many texts and emails wishing me well made Friday a wonderful transition. After teaching my classes and doing car duty (Dan, you can laugh here), the girls and I headed home.  

I collapsed on the couch and immediately fell asleep.  I don’t remember much of that afternoon/evening.  Dan woke me up and we went to my parents to have dinner to celebrate my return to regular life.  I was quite the party animal - propping my head up on my hands at the table.  I do remember the food was delicious and the company (with the exception of me) was entertaining.  After dinner we came home and I climbed into bed where I stayed for the next twelve hours.  Luckily I had two days to recover from my one day of work.  And then Monday came.

Left the house at 7:00 am for school and arrived back home at 6:00 pm - everything in between is a blur.  I know that teaching and everything else went well.  Emotionally I am in a much better place. I had a good day. Tuesday, too.  And today.  And I can’t believe that I used to do this, for 17 years, 180 days each year, with so much less effort than it is taking me now.  And today I decided that I deserve a vacation or at least a gold medal for making it through the past three days upright.  In addition to that I am planning to go back… two more days in a row.  And if that isn’t bravado, I don’t know what is.   So if I can’t have a vacation (at least not until spring break) or a gold medal, I’ll settle for some ice cream with a gold foil wrapped reese’s peanut butter heart (thanks Valentine’s Day clearance sale).  Must stop writing now to eat and then fall into bed. More soon. ZZZzzzzzzz...