Donald Trump and Peanut Butter M&Ms

The first is nuts and the second is made with nuts.  This is where the similarity ends, at least for me.  One is impacting my recovery negatively; however, the other is definitely helping.  

While in recovery it was suggested that if you are suffering from anxiety and/or depression that avoiding the news is not a bad idea.  And even though following this advice made me feel ignorant, I listened and it was advantageous to my mental health.  My lifelong plan was not to refuse to acknowledge news, but my immediate plan was also not to be inundated with the political nightmare I see unfolding.  My anxiety and fear of the worst happening increases every time I read or hear about Donald Trump’s shenanigans and resulting endorsements.  I catastrophize (rightly so, I believe) and imagine what will happen if he is elected.  As an American, Jewish mother of two girls who lost many family members in the Holocaust, it is beyond my comprehension that our country could elect someone who is being shown to have so much in common with Adolf Hitler.  Although many people around me have tried to assure me that there is no way that he will win, the possibility is still there and until he is out of the picture I won’t be able to allay this fear.  

A photo from the internet.  I had none left to photograph!

Never before would I be proud to proclaim that in the past few days I have managed to pillage through an entire 18 oz (large) bag of Peanut Butter M&Ms.  I will admit that this has done absolutely nothing to help with my desire to lose weight, and I will also share that at least I exercised 5 days this week.  The exercise was definitely an attempt to balance out my scale, although this week I am certain the M&Ms won.  So why am I proud.  1st of all, I did not eat them all in one sitting… did you see that I said “few days?”  Don’t doubt that I could have polished them off in an hour, and I exercised self control.  I rationed them out to help me self-soothe and distract from the political drama that added to my stress of returning to work, the school play (which I am involved in as staff and as a parent and is on in less than two weeks), and activities of daily living.  The fact that I am feeling content, hopeful, and proud I believe is in part due to my consumption of the aforementioned M&Ms.  

Eventually, I aim to cut back the chocolate and peanut butter addiction; in full disclosure, the Peanut Butter M&Ms have had some assistance from Reese’s cups, hearts, pieces, and Tagalongs (I’m nothing if not thorough).  Until then I will try to keep exercising and allowing myself this guilty pleasure… and blaming some of my weight gain on Trump.