Why “No News is Good News” Doesn’t Work for Me

 

All my life I have heard people say the above quote and until recently I didn’t know why it bothered me.  I put it up there with “I found (insert previously lost object here) was in the last place I looked for it” - because why in the heck would you keep looking AFTER locating it???  But “no news is good news” doesn’t always ring true. In fact I am willing to bet that it rarely is true. It might be that there is nothing happening, but to my anxious mind “no news” means that I can dream up all possible scenarios (none of them good) as to why I haven’t heard something.  From calls from a doctor’s office (pretty rare) to job interviews and most commonly phone calls/e-mails/texts from friends, I don’t do well with no response.

Now before I continue I do have to say that I apologize to all of you who I haven’t responded to over the past several years (thanks to the depression that wreaks havoc in my life) and I will try to do better - at least for my friends with diagnosed anxiety (you know who you are, and if I don’t officially know I probably have a clue).

“You hate me.” “You don’t want to deal with me anymore.” “I did something to hurt you.” “You are avoiding me.” “Something is terribly wrong in your life and you don’t want to tell me.” “I am not worthy of your time.” “You fell off of a cliff or were swallowed by a large animal…” (All of the above). The list in my mind can go on for hours. 

And although it would seem to so many people that I should reach out again if I don’t hear from you, I am almost scared to find out the truth. Although recently I have actually started to follow through and test my thoughts.

“No news” creates an ugly game in my head. I know I am not the only one that feels this way. And although it might seem ridiculous to those who have the ability to chill or not worry (these are foreign concepts to me) I wanted to alert them to this struggle.

Obviously this was written with an ulterior motive.  If you have received communication from me, or if you do in the future, it doesn’t have to be long or detailed, but please text/email. Please don’t call as I still don’t use my phone for that!