“Gratitude Photo of the Day” - terrific or terrible idea?
Day 79 |
I’ve been accused (by myself and many, many others) of being an overachiever. And the truth is, I am an overachieving overachiever. Also known as an overachiever on steroids. I honestly think it goes with the territory. I want to please everyone, myself included, and don’t want to fail or even just mildly succeed at anything. If pressuring one’s self was an Olympic sport - I believe I could medal in it. So where am I going with this?
It was suggested to me months ago by Dr. K to keep a record of five things I was grateful for every day. I did this for about 10 days and had to really reach to list five on some days. This was when I was in a pretty bad place and couldn’t see a smile from my kids as something to be grateful for. Then, I am on Facebook and see many of my art teacher friends have been doing a year long challenge of taking and posting a photo-a-day. This is a creative and mindful challenge. So in all my brilliance I thought “Great. Why don’t I combine the two???” I should have stopped right there. Today is day 153 of my Gratitude Photo of the Day being posted on Facebook. I only missed posting on one day, which I can now tell you was the day I was admitted to the inpatient hospital program (http://thecompassionateb.blogspot.com/2015/05/rock-bottom.html), but I took the photo on the correct day, so I just had to wait until I got my phone back to post it the following day!
So you might be wondering why I am questioning the success of this venture. I don’t like to quit. I really don’t like to quit. I’ve had to a few times this year while battling my depression. But I am not sure that I am gaining anything from this exercise. It has taken great restraint not to post photos of the new shoes and other accessories I have purchased during retail therapy for two big reasons: 1. While I enjoy them, I am not necessarily grateful for the things I purchase (now gifts on the other hand…) and 2. I really try hard not to be a materialistic person and posting photos of boots (even if they are gorgeous, comfortable, and a great deal) does not speak to who I am or who I want to be. I have relearned that most of the things I am grateful for are not tangible. The ones I am grateful for that are not too materialistic are for the most part food, art, nature, and my family and friends. Those are the repeating themes of most of the photos I have posted. I love all of these and am grateful for them… but do I really need two hundred and twelve more photos to illustrate this to myself - or to others? Probably not. OK, definitely not. But I hate to quit anything and this is my current issue.
Have I mentioned yet that not only do I overachieve; I also overthink?!?! So while I continue to wrestle with this decision (which I have been thinking about for about 3 months) I imagine I will keep posting my pictures!
It took me a long time to realize that I didn't have to finish every book that I started. If I wasn't enjoying it, it was ok to stop. I think that you told me that. The pictures might have worked for you before, but if it's not doing anything good for you now, I say it's ok to stop. Who knows what fun and worthwhile thing you'll do next--but no pressure:)
ReplyDeleteYou make a good point! Still overthinking, but hopefully getting closer to my answer :) Thanks as always for your wise words!
Delete