My therapist found a big flaw in me

I know that most of you read the title and thought I should start my search for a new therapist. Instead I am taking her insight and wisdom to heart. My ability to make assumptions is downright awful. I am rarely correct and I often spend way too much time dwelling in what I think may be behind so many words, decisions and actions. Whether an interaction is with strangers, co-workers, family or friends, I have a talent to take it to a catastrophic level that I truly believe is assisted by both my anxiety and depression. I am a walking worst case scenario poster child, and it hasn’t served me well for the past 40 years.

Luckily for me I am learning to trust and open myself up and ask people around me who I am comfortable with about things I would have ruminated on in the past. And more than nine times out of ten my assumptions were in fact incorrect and I have been able to let things go and move forward.

My hope and goal for the future is to be able to catch myself as soon as I start to assume and think through the probabilities and if I can’t do that, at least get more comfortable asking more people point blank when I am concerned or upset. Communication, both internally (between my emotions and my more cognitive thinking) and with others. My internal dialogue until now has really focused on taking the negative thinking and letting it run wild. And I know that it is going to be a hard habit to break.

Made these cookies last night and definitely have felt all of the above
(sometimes from something as little as a look someone has given me from across the room)

And I am thankful that I have and will have therapists and friends who will help me work on my thinking and help me adjust my thinking and find a way forward that will hopefully be both easier and happier.

So thank you J for finding this particular fault in me! Today I took it to heart and I am calling myself out publicly so I can try to hold myself more accountable. This one is going to be hard (although I can’t think of much of this process of therapy and recovery hasn’t been). Now to not make assumptions about people’s reactions (or lack thereof) to this post. I am bracing myself!